How to be a Corporate Girlfriend
We live in the corporate era. We eat, drink, dress and even dance corporate. Our talks, mannerisms and weddings are all corporate. We have corporate wives and friends. Corporate parties and dinners are all the rage now. No wonder even the clubbing culture is increasingly going corporate with clubs in Nairobi targeting a certain clientele that can ensure business. I believe they are out to lock out college students who have the uncanny ability to survive the whole night with a single beer or having drunk from a cheaper joint, they only need one and crowd the dance floor.
Corporate is the new sexy. The senior corporate citizens must be marveling at the sheer animal magnetism and dynamism with which they younger interact. It is with this notion that many progressive young single men, otherwise known as yuppies or eligible bachelors are increasingly styling up and going for a woman who can live up to the expectations of their corporate friends. While they have many girlfriends, not everyone can be merit the corporate expectations of a good woman.
A good corporate image is everything. In the corporate circles, everything works out like a perfectly scripted play. Everyone behaves strictly within an unwritten code of conduct that often demand one to skip the buffet at a party and hold fast to their Dasani bottles of water even when they are starving literary. Therefore, badly behaved partners should never be anywhere within the picture to spoil the flawlessly cut out image.
Enter the corporate girlfriend idea. There are three things that are key in making one a decent corporate girlfriend. And they are; proper dressing, good manners and decent education (in this very order).
Proper dressing tops the list. Nothing gives the right impression like good corporate suits with the knee-length skirts exposing the golden legs. If in pants, they ought to be decent in a manner befitting the working environment of an office. No indecent exposure of the cleavage, no outrageous miniskirts, no too much make up, no bad hairstyles. Drop the locks or the conservative look. The corporate arena is no ground for activism. Such looks only make one question the known defiance or sexual orientation of such women. Even those with feline looks, it pays to be suitably feminine. Nothing sells so much.
When it comes to mannerisms, tacky behaviour has no room or chance in the corporate world. Everything is strictly formal and professional, sometimes to a fault. The Eastlands mentality of settling duels with catfights or the solemn belief that loud arguments help resolve conflicts faster is too ‘ghettoish’ for the corporate community. No man wants to be caught with such women, either privately or publicly.
Finally, a decent education, preferably a university degree is the icing on the cake. Having a grasp of worldly matters, geography, Information and technology can earn one suitable accolades. Nothing baffles corporate male friends so much like a dumb remark. It is inexcusable, unforgivable and punishable by permanent ridicule from peers.
So how do we know that a certain woman can never merit to be a good corporate girl friend; it is simple. Here are eight ways to tell: (Men too are part of this and the list is not exhaustive)
If your wardrobe has more jeans pants than any other piece of dressing
If you are past 28 and still posses a funny tattoo below your navel or above your butt that you feel compelled to expose.
If you don’t know at least four brands of wines and brandies.
If you hang always with your girlfriends. You think collectively and decide everything collectively. Herd mentality has no room.
If you when you drink, you throw up, become abusive and can’t tell what happened the previous night.
If you apply make-up in public regularly, and see no problem.
If you still believe that it is upon for men to provide.
If you can not regulate your tone during an argument.
How to be a Corporate Girlfriend