Want a successful relationship/marriage? Kill all her exes

Sometime in our early 20s, we always meet that one lover who rocks our world. It is the first time as an adult you have understood what sex is all about. As  a man you can delay your gratification for maximum results. And Women know the consequences of unprotected sex better. And in the event of raw sex, they know where they can buy a P2. Speaking of P2s, I have established women are more confident asking for a P2 at a chemist than men, when buying condoms.

Anyway, in the early 20s, most guys will meet that perfect lover. They will be nuts over each other. They will have sex everywhere, anywhere, every time,  anytime, anyhow. In a car (women rank this as their best fantasy, more so when so drunk in some carpark along Lang’ata or Westlands or whenever Nairobians sin nowadays). In the sitting room-on the sofa. In the sitting room-on the carpet. In the kitchen. Pinned anywhere on the wall-and randomly banged. Ladies like this as well, I gather. Anywhere. At the arboretum. At some abandoned corner in the university. In some toilet in a club.  In the library. In some office.

The early 20s are the best time to understand the divine essence of sex. Women, more so those who make it to university begin to understand the essence of recreational sex. They learn that nothing beats sleeping with some Dave or Sam they meet inevitably at some childish birthday party where alcohol runs out before midnight and the toilet is invariably messed up. At the university, most women will be like men: they will do away with any element of guilt that gnaws women when they have sex. They are fully liberated, and in time they learn more about their libidos and how they can be satisfied.

Not everyone is lucky as to find the perfect lover before 25. Those who do, ultimately break up. Only a few end up in marriage. Those who break up end up having a complex relationship with the ex. Especially women. For men, over time, you can get over your best ex. Save for those lucky to date the most beautiful, curviest lady with the best bedroom game. In that case, you will hanker after her for the rest of your life.

Anyway, the perfect ex will be part of her life permanently. He will be the benchmark of looks and bedroom performance for the rest of her life. If the man was beastly and lit up all her senses giving her multiple orgasms, all the men she will date afterwards will be subjected to the same scrutiny. And trust me; a woman who has been exposed to good sex at a young age will not take mediocre sex in her subsequent sexual encounters. The reason some women tend to be promiscuous without any qualms because they know what is best for them.

As she grows older, may be in her 25-30, she might meet another man who is equally good, who will also form part of her exes who will complicate her marriage later. Trust me in this.

In survey that I have done, a woman in a relationship is thrice  likely to cheat on her man with her ex. Or one of her ex. Remember, there is an ‘ex’ in sex. There are reasons for this.

For starters, exes have undue advantage on your woman than any other man. In fact some exes have better access to your woman than you do. They have seen her naked. And anyone who has seen you naked has seen you at your most vulnerable and will know what button to push when necessary. And women never quite open about their exes. You never know which ex did what to her. You never know which ex made her abort. Which ex she did the craziest things with, experimented with all sorts of pornographic sex-Kamasutra-Tantric-Anal-blah blah. The secrets people keep even as they walk in this town in their pristine suits…

Two, one of these exes can blackmail her into sex. Because he already knows the best thing to say to melt her heart, or whatever. He knows where to touch to make her…eehh ehh, ready. And when you become a prick, she has the number of her ex in her head, she just needs to call him and go for consolation. And a full package of consolation, starts with a cup of coffee in Java and ends up in his apartment in Dagoretti. Remember this  time she told you she has gone tom see mum when you were not in speaking terms? Well, turns out, she was in Buru with Sam. Her second last ex, before you took her up. Also, with an ex, there is no need for her to be bureaucratic. So, damn procedures. You always cut to the chase. You know each other’s bodies so well, no need of presence. Nothing to hide.

Thirdly, many individuals rarely feel guilt sleeping with their exes. We feel like it is pension we are claiming. Or you know those honorary games footballers play when they retire. Or better still, those moments when players come back to practice in their former clubs, occasionally being signed to play on loan. As they mentor the younger player about the club’s tradition.

Anyway, most women always yearn for  that one reunion with the good ex. And the best time for that is when they are in bad terms with their present man. They do to remind themselves, that they are still desirable. That someone still wants them. And you can never go wrong with the ex. He will always be at your beck and call, whether you have depreciated, or not.

So, here is for men in marriage or in those permanent relationship. Beware of the available ex. They are always saved in simple names such as Frank, Sam, Dave, Dennis. No accompanying explanations such as Frank-MBA, Fred-Accounts. No, it is mostly those mysteriously quiet numbers in the phone. No text message (OK the cliché Christmas message does not count but if it is from 2011, you have to know why it is kept.) You never know when she called or texted him. If you snoop her WhatsApp, you will soon notice that there is some evidence of communication, but the messages are permanently deleted and the bastard sits at the bottom of the message pool.

When you bump into the ex of your woman along Mama Ngina St, women like behaving funny. A woman will never introduce his ex. But you can tell. An ex is always given a hug, and if you stand there she will make curt introductions,

“That is Steve and this is Sam”, no more niceties. But she will remain behind with him for two minutes where they will share some stupid silly joke and will catch up with and will never mention anything about the man. If you ask, it is always a colleague she interned with somewhere in Westlands or a friend from college.

So, if in a relationship, snoop around her phone. Employ NSIS and forensics. Know who the perfect ex was. Once you know, hire assassins, or know where they drink and drop cyanide in his drinks. Once the ex or two of them die, you will have limited her cheating by at least 69% (see what I did there). And you will live happily fending off newer hyenas.


10 steps of dealing with corruption in Kenya

10 steps of dealing with corruption in Kenya

A while ago, MP Alfred Keter and Anglican archbishop, Eliud Wabukala were of the idea that corruption be declared a national disaster. And rightfully so. At the moment, virtually every government ministry and parastatal is embroiled in a corruption scandal and the monies being mentioned are driving Kenyan nuts. And now the previously Cabinet Secretaries asked to step aside are being cleared one by one. And soon, no one will be found guilt. May be one or two fall guys who will rightfully claim that it is witch-hunting, and they will call all manner of meetings to declare their innocence and even join the opposition who will take them in, making it impossible for the opposition to fight corruption when their time comes.

My take is, this generation of leaders will never fight corruption since they are governed by unconscionable greed. They inherited it and they will pass it to their kids, who will intermarry and exchange government tenders with an entitlement that will even shame the devil. We have been here before. Don’t be naive. The money that will change hands during campaigns does not grow on trees. So here is the cycle of fighting corruption in Kenya.
But Kenyans deal with corruption in unusual styles. Here are 10 steps n how corruption unravels.

  1. Whistle-blowing
    Like paying tax, whistle-blowing is a thankless job in Kenya, given the way our taxes are chewed with primitive notoriety. No sooner one risks his neck to blow out the whistle on a scandal than is ethnicity is scrutinized and two things happen:If he is of a different political divide, he will be dismissed as playing politics or just having a dessert of sour grapes. If he belongs to the government of the day, he will be dimmed as a sell-out. Generally, he will be forgotten sooner and relegated to oblivion where he will die miserably, a`la David Munyakei.
  2. Debate goes takes an ethnic-political angle

If for in stance, Raila castigates the government of the day, he will be dismissed as someone merely pandering to populist agenda aiming for some votes in 2017. The government of the day will blame the opposition of witch-hunting and asks their voters to be wary of the opposition and must come out to guard the hard-earned power power fastidiously. They will say that corruption claims are exaggerated and it is something they inherited from the past governments. It is never about the stolen monies.

  1. Both CORD and JAP have their share of scandals

What makes corruption fighting difficult is that either side is embroiled in a scandal that goes back to history. Given every big name in the country was once in the government, there is virtually no one whose name has never been mentioned in one scandal or another. Therefore they both live in glass houses, and  few stones are thrown. If you become a nuisance, a scandal is unearthed to silence you.

  1. Kenyan middle-class act apathetically

The Kenyan middle-class who by their education, exposure and the fact that they are the most taxed should be the loudest critics are often too quiet. They leave the war on graft to politicians and the civil society that is patently dismissed to be carrying some Western agenda. Remember the war on corruption is never about the billions swindled.

  1. Gets too hot-welcome a diversion

In the unlikely event it becomes too much, a digression will be welcome. A socialite might leak her nudes. A grenade attack will help divert attention a little. A high profile death-natural or otherwise. Anything that can take the heat off those mentioned is always welcome.

  1. Create a Task Force

Before they took up the kinkier and sexier name, they were known as ‘Commissions of Inquiry’. It is basically an old boys’ club often headed by an old tough-talking lawyer, some grey-headed old men and talkative middle-aged men and the odd woman. Their job is simply to pocket fat salaries, dragging through legalities until Kenyans get fatigued and thankfully forget. Which they do sooner rather than later. The proceedings on national television will remembered more for the theatrics and shenanigans than any scrutiny to tell Kenyans the truth.

  1. Someone might actually be sacked

In the rare event, someone often gets suspended or voluntarily steps down. But this is as rare as winter in Equator. Often someone gets sacked or rested. Or reshuffled to a different and colourless ministry such as Environment.

  1. Reinstated back to head a parastatal or some less known institution

Given corrupt men and women hold a huge political and tribal clout around them, you cannot dismiss them entirely. They can always win you some votes. So little wonder you see in the nether parts of the newspaper or the ‘in other news’ part of prime time news that the man or woman who was adversely mentioned in a scandal a few years ago has been named to head some defunct institution like the Pyrethrum Board. They always win, these grey-haired thieves. They will be pocketing huge salaries and have a guaranteed parking slot.

  1. Alternatively they get elected back

With the loot they steal they can always buy their way to parliament or relevance. Kenyans never mind corrupt individuals as long as he shares the loot. Kenyans don’t mind freebies, even from a questionable source.

  1. Repeat

Officially, fighting corruption now sounds like a broken record. Our amnesia ranks ten cadres lower that of a gold fish and only bettered by a warthog. So this cycle eventually repeats itself. It has been the same song four regimes since we kicked the noisome Brits out. And unlikely to change in our life time.

Omena-The only ‘sea’ food without class


Photo: Courtesy.

Omena ranks number 997 in the Nationale` Geographic’s World Worst Food list. Only cabbage-at number 998, Mukimo-at 999 and you guessed it, matumbo-at number 1,000 fair worse.

As a rule, I never date a lady who eats matumbo or omena. Such an appalling lack of class or taste is not tolerated in my book. The Luos, pride themselves with class, but no one has ever explained why they eat Omena.

Now before stones are hurled my direction, let me clarify a few things:

a) Four of the Charter Members of The Society to Restore Things Back To The Way They Were where I belong are Luos and have endorsed this article. In fact, offering very helpful insights on Omena.

b) This article is no way inspired by the four women from Luo Land who have rejected my advances. You bet that has made me a bit crusty about the staple diet of Raila’s voters.

c) Politically, I swing more to the Left and that means we are ideologically congruent and this is purely a matter of my personal taste and opinion.

d) Fish is my favourite protein, if you will.

Having said that, let us get straight to the point: As a food, Omena is a huge insult to culinary sensibilities of humanity. It is tastes coarse, more like grated steel wool, peppered with elements from Group 2, salt and a dash of some fish smell. Or Saw dust dipped in a soup of fish from yesterday. I hate Omena and regret my childhood, for all those moments that my kin made me eat Omena against my will. If I could sue my folks, retrospectively, trust you me I will.
The first reason being, after you eat omena, you need three different brands of toothpaste, four different brands of mouthwash, salted water, a detergent, Dettol, and five litres of hot water and ten litres of cold water in order to bring some semblance hygiene in your mouth. But still, the atmosphere of your mouth will remain polluted. You can’t kiss after eating Omena, can you? If you eat omena and you don’t brush, your mouthy emissions in the morning will be a Chernobyl of sorts with debilitating nuclear emissions in your house.

If a woman, especially a Bantu asked you if you eat omena, you have to think twice, lest you spoil your chances. Omena is such a disagreeable dish. So bad that I recently saw some estate in South C downrightly bans cooking of Omena in its flats. And in some estates, just like holding a party and you need permission to play loud music, when you cook Omena, you must seek permission from the plot’s caretaker.

I will point out that among the Luhyia, the Abagusii, Luo, Kuria and Suba, Omena always saves the day in those dry months when two leaves of Sukuma cost an arm and a leg in your nearby open market. But still.

I recently walked into Tuskys and I saw packaged Omena on the shelves. I thought with terrorism, Sonko, socialites and Duale, we have enough problems, but look what we have done. I also saw packaged githeri and I felt like University of Nairobi’s Upper Kabete campus should be closed indefinitely. Only graduates of Food and Nutrition department can come up with intemperate ideas as canning githeri, wrapping omena, extracting sugar cane juice and blending avocadoes. Stop this. Get a job.

Many ODM and CORDed folks have argued that it is ECK and IEBC that are responsible for Raila’s unending electoral woes. But I will let you in a little secret. Has anyone thought that it could be a curse from the Omena species? I mean, millions of Omena are killed daily in a genocidal orgy, so that thousands of homes across western Kenya can accompany their ugali with Omena, why can’t they go for big fish. That is not right, Odongo.

Here is how Raila loses an election. At the University of Nairobi, a Kevin Omondi meets a Keving Mwangi. Omondi has never ventured out of Kapisul Kabondo. Mwagi has never ventured out of Mukurweini. So they all come with their prejudices, driven the more by the constant pissing match between Kiuks and Luos that other Kenyans have grown accustomed to.

They will be given the same room, on second floor, let us say Room 287. A few weeks after settling down, Mwangi likes eating at the Cafeteria or a quick fix of boiled githeri and potatoes that come ready from the nearby market (Club 36). He just has to boil them some more and he will be out of the room in a record 23 minutes. Mwangi is pressed for time because he is doing his CPAs, and probably runs a small movie business in Kahawa Sukari estate. So every minute counts.

Omondi on the other hand, has all the time. He takes his time cooking his meals. Every Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Tuesdays by the way, he likes his Omena. And he carried two tons of it from home, you know, life is not that easy as those posts on Facebook by Luos hypothesize. So he prepares omena in those days; fried, stewed, smoked, roasted and the billion ways that his mother taught him to cook ‘teargas’.

This permanently ruins the atmosphere of the room, and Mwangi has to deal with it, because he cannot handle Omondi’s burly and ballsy approach to life. Equally, Omondi hangs out with Otieno, who has a body built of cement and muscles that make ladies squirm in trepidation at the erotic power the body exudes. So he decides to mind his own business, staying as far away from the room as possible. But the seeds of hatred will have been planted, watered and cemented completely. To him, Omondi and his kin are intolerant, and utterly inconsiderate.

My best memories from the University were those night the whole hostel would be perfumed by Omena and you will meet Kiuks sobbing in the corridors. Now the funny bit was that, the Luo chaps in their rudeness and braggadocio never gave a damn about what us Bantus think of their smelly food. They just live their lives. But this costs Raila badly in politics. We construe it as the true nature of the Luos. May be if Raila won, Omena will become a staple diet. And Nairobi will be insufferably smell. Thus, we employ every means, some less creative to ensure Raila never becomes the president. It is that guys. Anyway…

Later, when Mwangi moves out of college, he will be driving with his banker girlfriend from Lang’ata on a Sunday evening when Gor has lost, or won a match against AFC. Or heck, has drawn. Some rowdy, Gor fan, will stop his car, sit on the bonnet, turn around and simulate a sexual act. And that is it. Mwangi will never listen to Raila. Never ever. And that is how Raila is permanently cursed from winning an election.

It started with Omena, then it went personal before it became political. Because, there is nothing the Bantu tribes value more as respect. Any trace of contempt, any slight, is taken at a very personal level and no intermarriages or sex with virgins from the clanswomen of the offender tribe will ever correct that. And damn, we keep grudges. If grudges traded at the Nairobi stock exchange, Bantus will be the wealthiest tribes in the World.

I hope one day, when people go fishing, they will stop the sissy behavior of fishing the small fish and go for the big cojones. This going for the small fish, is even reflected at the national level. What with our penchant of going for the small fish when fighting corruption as the big men grab land meant for cemeteries. As in kids can’t play at school and neither can you rest when you call time on earth.

So, I tell my Luo friends, all of them and my in laws, get the big fish bwana. Leave Omena to grow to pursue their dreams…

The High-Tech Sugar Daddy

He is over 45, but he has a Facebook and Twitter account and fully understands the fickle internet lingo. He knows how to use his big smart phone, tablet, and other fancy electronics with arcane intricacies that only the young and the extreme techno-savvy individuals will be familiar with. He is good with mixing his gin with lime and can recommend the right wine for his young date in a swanky, exclusive wine bar in a suburb.
He is an evolved creature. A far cry from his counterpart from the medieval years of the 90s. Back then, he was dirty with grey hair, wore unmatched suits, spotted a potbelly and generally cared less. His money more than anything else spoke for him. He was slightly discreet, given and old man and a young woman in public was frowned on.

Fast forward to the future and we now have a completely evolved creature. He is clean. Knows where to shop the best dye for his greying hair. He has worked hard to eliminate the potbelly, often with success, and when they fail they know how to hide and keep it wrapped under tight vests and oversized shirts. They know the importance of grooming in getting that nubile girl just out of her teenagehood.

He is up to date with what is going on in the media that affects young women. He purposely knows that Huddah Monroe is the new Kaz. He follows Big Brother, not so much because he cares about it, but at least to be up to date not to be left behind in a discussion just in case she shows up with one of her friends. They also know that Kim Kardashians is now a mother, even when a man their age (unless working in the media) needs to concern himself with more meaningful issues such as retirement and managing that lifestyle disease cropping up.

They go for young women, aged 18-26, either in college or the formative stages of their careers. And actually succeeding where many young men fail. They are now a real threat and the worst competition for young men in the same age bracket. One such affected young man, Sidney Kehari, 26, who works in a beauty parlour shares his predicament.

“At this rate, women our age will elude us. The amount of money passing through the hands of these young women in a weekend is more than I handle in a year,” laments the 25 year-old manicurists. What he has witnessed over the last two years he has worked in the industry is stupefying. Given that his parlour is high-end, he gets to interact with relatively young women, some younger than him who are swimming in money and handling electronic gadgets that he will never afford for a long time.

“These women are constantly talking about their trips to Dubai, South Africa, Seychelles, Mombasa-name it. Their phones, laptops and even general lifestyle speak a lot. And some are often picked by men who foot the bill, which can be anything between Ksh 4,000 to 20,000.”

Mr Kehari has also handled male clients, mainly in their 40s and early 50s, who are extremely self-conscious of the looks; driven more by carnal pursuits than personal care. In this specific beauty parlour they dye their hair, at a scandalously higher fee and offer general grooming services that can make a 48-year old pass for a 35-year yuppie.

“Most spend quite some money on fashion products, expensive colognes and neat, if perfect, haircuts to give them a complete corporate look, which renders them more admirable especially to the young women,” says Kehari.

Viagra to the rescue…

But where do they get the energy? Biologically, it has been noted that the sexual drive of men goes down as he grows old. Recent behaviour of a number of men who are well in their early old age point out to something else. Of course over-the-counter vitality drugs are common place; older men have been known to go for the more potent blue pill.

Speaking to a chemist along Koinange Street, it emerges that the demand for the blue pill has been steadily on the increase. More and more older people are all of sudden in a rush, a sort of a sexual explosion.
“Yeah, the demand has gone up certainly compared to a few years ago. More and more older people are rediscovering their sexual drive and even young men also want the vital blue pill,” explains Koome, a pharmacist along Koinange.

A number of pharmacist agree that the demand for vitality drugs has generally gone up, not just for older men. In Umoja estate, Donholm and the CBD, they are some of the most moveable drugs.

“Men no longer have the bedroom vitality or strength. These drugs are helping them scale the heights as they seek to break their own records in the bedroom,” says Steve Atang’a who runs a chemist in Nairobi’s Eastlands.

Why men in their 20s stand to lose

In the years gone, young men could bank on their ability to stud without popping any pill and their youthful energy, but the older men seem to be usurping whatever little they had left for young men. So much that the young man has no competitive advantage over the old man, man-o-man.

The older man can dispense with a Ksh 35,000 phone. A young man pulling such a stunt will be committing be financial suicide. Very costly. The older man is fashionable and can afford designer clothes, shoes and some pricey cologne. A young man has to contend with ordinary clothes, made more presentable by nerve-racking ironing. In bed, the young man might be powerful, but the old man can pop the pill and can afford to deliver a shattering experience. That means that for young women who prefer older men, getting an older man to date is a win-win situation.

He has reworked in his image. He is tech-savvy. He is not very mean, and can be very liberal. Not the stuck-up, domineering, libido driven men from the old times. Nowadays, young women are actually comfortable around these sugar daddies because they carry themselves in a civil way. Even in public. If you walk into any Five-Star hotel, you will run into them. A young woman, in her mid-20s, expensively dressed and an older person in their 50s, getting cozy in the lounge chairs. The young lady spoilt by the treats and goodies. And the old man rejuvenated by her the youthful charm of the young woman. Both can’t believe their luck.

A socio-anthropological take on the issue

Anthropologist Paul Opondo, weighs on the issue, and came up with the following verdict:
Let’s begin by asking ourselves: what do women go for in a young man at the same time they are ‘dating’ the elderly men? They have this perception that the young men are smart, intelligent and fun. This takes different forms. Young women sometimes can stoop too low as to judge the potential of a man by the gadgets he carries. Find a sugar-daddy who knows this ‘secret’ and you have a ‘High-Tech’ sugar daddy as you have called him. Why? He resembles ‘cool’ in the mind of the woman, is likely to upgrade to latest Samsung phone and upgrade the young woman’s phone as well. Women and their fetishes! You understand.

Most women are bad judges of character. A techno-savvy man with very expensive gadgets is likely to be seen as classy and having the ability to spend and flash. What drives a young woman into a relationship with an elderly person? Mostly it is the money. We all know what the spending ability of a man can do to even the most beautiful woman in our world. Hence such sugar daddies are more attractive and successful in their philandering exploits.

Such sugar daddies also have their nets cast wider when hunting for younger women. They can now tap into numerous social-media sites and sprawling dating sites. And that is where they find younger women who spend their entire day surfing on the internet. This makes these men to be more promiscuous unlike their predecessors who were not technologically savvy, and relied more on face to face meetings and dates.
These men also have the ability to keep these young women away from the boredom in such arrangements. Technology has a way of spicing up promiscuity: From virtually advertised events, flirty videos, keeping each other company in virtual chats, and also using their gadgets to snatch women who date men with lesser smartphones.

Generally, technology enhances promiscuity through the Chat rooms and applications such as Whatsapp, Facebook and the likes. Given that they can come up spontaneous trips to different holiday destinations, there is little likelihood for boredom.

But tragedy happens when this old man becomes attached or clingy and the young woman was just having fan. The old men can throw tantrums and become really petty. Like repossessing back the gadgets and insulting the woman. And it is always ugly. And the old man can be insecure and start spying and stalking on the young woman.

Paul Omondi is a post graduate Anthropology student at the University of Nairobi

Diagnosing the psychology of xenophobia; why middle-class denial is to blame

Xenophobic attacks in South Africa have subsided, or at least the news about the attacks. May be the Nepalese earthquake or the over-hyped, overrated boxing match pitying Floyd Mayweather and Manny Paquiao extinguished the attacks that were widely condemned by ordinary Africans. Most leaders and the political class were curiously quiet over the attacks.

African politicians, with the exception of Nigeria, Malawi and Zimbabwe were mum about the attacks. And for a reason. First, Nigeria, Malawi and Zimbabwe probably have the highest number of their citizens in South Africa, hence the diplomatic tiff the attacks lit off. By and large, Nigeria is a dysfunctional country that has its citizens all over the world. Other than India, I can’t think of any other country with most of its citizens out of the motherland. Mugabe did help South Africa during the reprehensible apartheid regime. In Zimbabwe, he repossessed land from the Whites, prompting sanctions that ruined the once great country. Consequently, most of its citizens moved to South Africa where they took any job, mostly in the informal sector. Malawi is one of the poorest countries in the world, but it did help South Africa and for long, there has been that understanding that South Africa, need return the favour by housing a few Malawians and those in the COMESA region who stood them in good stead.

Other African countries kept quiet or quietly condemned South Africa because most of their citizens are at home, and somehow they have no right to dictate South Africans who they should house. Equally, the only time that African leaders ever come together, is when one of them is about to be incarcerated by an international court. There, their actions are invariably quick and always so quick to dismiss the West.

When I saw Kenyans starting a trend on twitter to condemn the killings, I laughed our pretense and the collective poor grasp of history. Granted, killing is wrong, that line ‘only the other day, we helped South Africa’ must never come from the mouth of Kenya. Kenya was quiet, hardly offered any support to South Africa during the half century of institutionalized racism that permanently ruined generations of South Africans, condemning them to a life of permanent illiteracy.

But the biggest lesson we have learnt, African lives don’t matter at all. To us, and to the world. If even a single white person was Killed in South Africa, America and the rest of the Western world would have been livid dishing out sanctions that would greatly compromised Africa’s biggest economy-assuming that Nigeria or Angola still have more ground to cover. Even gays’ lives are more valued by the West than the life of an ordinary black man. Essentially, what the West taught us by their quietness is that as Africans we have to do some house-keeping for ourselves.

Now, let us talk about the psychology of Xenophobia. I will start from home. For the longest time, we neglected the Northern region of Kenya. There were hardly enough schools, hospitals for the population in the North. The argument being, it was not agricultural or economically viable. The population trekked several kilometres for water, school and hospital. In the North, we have the highest illiteracy levels, highest school dropout rates, early marriages are still part of the culture and essentially, young women are locked out of a fair shot at life because of the culture dictates that with some few cows an septuagenarian can marry a nubile 16-year old as a fist wife.

In contrast, I grew up where there were public primary schools every 500 metres away. Secondary schools every kilometer away. Public hospitals, while not offering the best services were available and accessible. The education system was not the most qualitative, but it turned me to be the man I am today. In the same way, it gave every Kenya, south of the Equator, West of the Tsavo a better shot at life than those from the neglected parts. The Northern region, and the coastal region natives are the most disadvantaged. At the coast, only Kenyans from the hinterland who were given land there and those who immigrated there have excelled as the natives have mostly succumbed to drug abuse, consumed by poverty and the general lack of opportunities since every single job available ‘by merit’ goes to those from other parts of Kenya, earlier exposed to education, have worked and have experience.

50 years later, we discover oil there and the economy of the region is likely to grow. But the people there do not have the ability to take up the jobs that will come up. Neither do they have the capital for the businesses that will come up. Those from the South have a better chance to control the economy from the white collar, down to informal jobs, including prostitution. The locals are likely to be relegated to spectating, as others benefit from a resource that is their birthright.

There are those quick to say that resources such as minerals are national assets. The same people whom nature gifted with arable land, rivers and lakes to fish and large tracts of land to graze their livestock. It is mostly, the educated middle-class who come up with such convenient excuses, and lines such as ‘we are trying to lift up the community but they are stupid, uncivilized and cannot be helped’, the same argument Europeans used to justify colonialism. When I was in South Sudan, I heard Kenyans use a similar line.

Look, Xenophobia does not just happen. It is a culmination of long time institutional neglect on a part of a given country’s population. In South Africa, the generation at the heart of xenophobia, were those denied schooling in the 1970s and 80s. It is a lot that is highly militarized, for the many fights they fought against the Apartheid regime. By the time, SA got its independence some of them were too old, to go to school. Some were too poor to contemplate schooling. In Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, one has to have food, clothing and shelter for them to pursue other things in life. But when you have a population that struggles to feed itself, clothe itself and shelter itself, then going to school is not as easy as a pampered middle class executive would like to tweet.

One famous South African Supersport broadcaster, tweeted, “You want to take a foreign doctor’s job, the best thing is to go to school, not to kill him”. It is the type of tweets that attracts 10,000 retweets and 8,000 favourites. He has a valid point, but it is too simplistic and too middle-class.

The broadcaster as other middle-class people tend to live in denial. They want a conducive environment where their children can go to the best school-usually private- as the poor’s children languish in the poorly run public schools. They want shopping malls, good night clubs as the poor die drinking illicit brews in the villages, simply because they too have a need for entertainment, only that they cannot afford good beer. The middle-class want a stable political environment where their business and high-flying corporate jobs can prosper. They care less about the underclass.

In fact, as long as they can satiate their conscience by giving to charity and a few philanthropic gigs, they sleep easy, thinking all the problems Africa suffers will be solved without their active participation. I am afraid, they will not.

So, one may ask, what am I suggesting? Simple, the middle-class, need to get down from their dreamland. They are the most taxed in any populace. The much they can do is to ensure that their taxes are utilised more efficiently and holding the government accountable for the wanton waste we witness everyday.

By ensuring that the taxes are used wisely, we can create a more equitable society where everyone has a fair shot at life. Periodic donations of foods and medical aid to the affected will not solve anything. It only makes us feel better about ourselves, but next year, you bet right, we will have to donate. How about we do something more tangible. Make the government build roads; provide water and other essential service. So that the child born in some deserted desert has as much chance as a child born in a rich arable land in another corner.

This simply means you don’t end up with one child ending up in the corporate sector-at best or becoming a jua kali artisan-at worst and another becoming a bandit or an easy recruit for terrorist.

In societies where people are educated to college level-assuming the syllabus is right, they tend to have fewer mindless deaths or violence as we often witness across the world. That should be the challenge to the middle-class. We can only arrest future xenophobic attacks by ensuring a more equitable society, doing everything to correct historical injustices. And this can only be done by keeping the government on its toes.

Societies that ensure equity such as Scandinavian countries tend to have less of this violence that we witness in various corners of the world. The African middle-class can learn more and be active participants of ensuring democracy, rule of law, a fair distribution of resources and lifting those who are down to bring them to a level where they can compete favourably for jobs and other opportunities available.

Now, as more and more countries in in Africa are set to stabilize and immigrants from other parts of Africa set to move there for the many opportunities that will arise, it is time to remember that even the citizens of such countries rising from the genocide, and the civil war have as much right to the same opportunities and resources as the new immigrants.

We can do better by ensuring that they too are trained, we leave some jobs they can do to them and ensure that there are timelines to relinquish the white collar jobs as soon as their populations have acquired the skills.

In simple terms, Xenophobia does not occur in a vacuum. We will be seeing more of such in South Sudan, Angola, DRC, Somali and every country recently rising from the many wars they have endured. So before you tweet, get some grasp of history, know the preponderance of the lowly educated to kill. War lords know too well that an uneducated man can kill easily because their morality and conscience is underdeveloped. So they control and manipulate them easily. Especially in Africa.

I believe that a country where people can feed themselves, clothe themselves, shelter themselves well, have enough sex, love and access education to college level and have a chance for a job to raise their family, tend to be more stable. Think about it.