Just like politics and sports for men, one of the favourite topics
women like broaching up is about men who are hitting on them. It could
in the office, the ex who can’t let go or the crush who is painfully
persistent that he has now become a stalker.
Biologically, complaining is inevitable with women and most men know
that they must allocate sometime in the day and listen to her rant
about what annoyed her during the day. It could be the bad walking
styles of Nairobians that made her break her heel and almost some bone
in her leg. It could be her hairstylists who gave her a raw deal and
she wishes to switch from her as soon as possible or the mean boss on
mission to complicate her life.
All these are within her right to complain. It is therapeutic and any
man worth his salt knows this. Mostly, there is nothing a man can do
about her myriad complaints than listen but ordinarily that is all she
But one topic that most men would rather watch their fingers grow than
listen to is when she starts on the men who are hitting on her. It is
one topic that creates a very anxious mood. For the man knows the
truth lies not in what she says but what is implied. Nothing gets a
man distressed than his wife or girlfriend confirming his worst fears.
In fact, it is somewhat better from a secondary source.
A woman bringing up such vibe is consciously or subconsciously
reminding a man of his inadequacies. Take it from me: A man feels
cornered listening to such. Ideally he should be flattered that he has
such a stiff (no pun intended) competition. But as soon as the
self-absorbing flattery sinks, his fears float on the surface.
The general rule is that from all these men hitting on her, there is
one she has a thing for. And the man can always sense it. Mostly, if
she has a randy boss, it is a cause for concern. There are no jobs in
town. And a boss with raw carnal appetite on his subordinates is more
dangerous than a suicide bomber. And if it is a private firm where he
wields a lot of power and he has his eyes trained on your woman, it is
a tricky situation. And Sticky.
And at this point, two things are on the line; her job and your love
if you don’t act decisively enough. This often leaves a man in an
ambivalent situation. He can’t get you another job and his account is
not well oiled to take the two of them through the lean times. And he
knows if he is dithering about it, a disaster is unraveling.
Most women can fend off sexual advances from their bosses. Simply
because most bosses are ‘potbellied’, ‘bald-headed’ and so annoyingly
ill-equipped in seductive skills that their only capital in the
seduction game is their office and the loose change. What brings
competition though, are men within the social spectrum of her man. The
ex who cannot find the word OVER in the dictionary. The crush who
cannot spell IMPOSSIBLE and any man within her social circle that she
constantly interacts with.
As soon as this vibe starts, a man ought to be sufficiently alarmed
that he is about to lose. Ideally that talk is to remind the man that
she is still in hot demand out there, albeit, in short of supply. It
could be that the man is inadequate in a number of departments and it
is time for some reality check but it a source of friction.
I would offer that it is better if she told you how she has dealt with
it. If she tells you she has been transferred because she couldn’t
balk than telling you of the insistent boss, then she is a keeper.
Better to run into a former friend she can’t say Hi to and when you
ask and she replies,
“Oooh, that one! he asked me out and I turned him down and he made an
issue about it, I don’t care.”
It is not only the right way, but it is soooooo cool and sexy and puts
the man fully in charge. Honestly, if you deal with it, men will
appreciate. Most of the time we are hapless on how to go about it. If
it was in another time, you can take out your sword and defend your
territory but nowadays if you do that, you will end up in jail. So it
is entirely your responsibility.
Now everything else, you can bring it on. So what has the neighbour
wife done lately?