In the event of a bedroom blunder, women suffer doubly. I insist therefore that women must always take charge of matters to do with contraception, no matter how tempting or exciting the situation is…
If there one bedroom moment that every man dreads so much, it must be a condom burst. It is scary. It is frightening. It takes the winds out of any man’s sails and gives many a boy a wakeful nightmare.
The frightening prospect of a VCT visit crosses one’s mind and that morning after, the man is always preoccupied with morbid expectations of what that ‘slight’ accident can lead to; an unwanted pregnancy-invariably the least of his worries-or contracting a venereal disease, mostly AIDS. It is always selfish and the man only mindful of his welfare, never that of the woman.
Three decades since the discovery of HIV and more than half a century of active marketing of contraceptive devices, many women stand accused of their inability to take the initiative on something that often affects their lives detrimentally. The number of abortions as reported elsewhere in this publication is sure proof that unprotected sex is the norm than the exception. A cursory walk down to your suburb pharmacist on a typical weekend can tell you how young women dutifully rely on morning after pills, another sign of the rampant unprotected sex going on in this town.
The costly price of unprotected sex is now clichéd news. Banal and boring; more so to women. In our daily interactions with most women at all levels, the issue of protection is purely a male affair. Unless it is a fling or a call girl, I have noted with alarming concern that even women sufficiently exposed tend to leave that decision solely for the man to decide.
Which brings us to the ever pertinent question that everyone shies away from; who should be in charge of protection?
The answer should be simple. WOMAN. Period. Before you raise your accusing finger, look at it soberly. Men are selfish and if the decision is left with them, they can only act as far as their pelvic desires can drive them. Naturally, anyone looks forward to unprotected sex that can be safe, which in itself is paradoxical given sexual safety begins with that walk to the VCT to ascertain the status. This only happens when the wedding bells are chiming away or where two individuals have demonstrated some proven commitment.
But when people date over a considerable period of time, there is that mutual temptation to drop down the guard and go it the fleshy way. Foolishly, using the rubber becomes exhaustive, burdensome and limiting. When a man opts to go tubeless, a woman mostly will have no say or her protest will be met with his insistence and believe you me a man will have his way. After foreplay and the exciting pre-sexual rites, women are susceptible to be taken away. The word condom and consistency have not co-existed in the same sentence for quite some time.
Naiveté is the bane of social life in campus. It is costly and many brilliant minds have had to learn it the hard way. On the heat of the moment, it is possible to forget the now indispensable ritual of love making; protection.
Personally I have been caught in that dilemma where such a decision was imperative and the urgency to satiate my pelvic thirst naked quite compelling. The women lay there vulnerable, helplessly trusting me and may be the gods that everything will be fine. Those who know me can attest that when you see me, the word handsome loses meaning. I am as broke as they come. It leaves me wondering what happens with those other men who are flier, loaded and may be better at these things.
There are women, who through experience or discretion have learnt the art of consistency and how to tame the offensive fleshy desires of their boyfriend(s), kudos to them. But for those who believe that the man knows, they are wrong. Our involvement has always been physical and beyond scattering the wild oats, there is nothing else. If you get pregnant, you will be robbed some nine productive months that you had not planned for. Worst still, you may contract a disease that you would have avoided.
Men should help in making this decision but given women suffer doubly from any sexual recklessness; they should take charge of protection bit. Suffice to say tripping is humanly inevitable and in the event things go wrong, one should always be ready to take responsibility. You can begin by keeping the baby. It is never a bad idea. Who knows, maybe it is an Obama. Besides that should always remind you that you tripped but it wasn’t a fall.
While at it, can a female student explain to me why they are more scared of a pregnancy than contracting HIV? It simply doesn’t add up. May be I’m too dumb.