Growing old;From a Boy to Man

Today is my birthday. Some 20-odd years ago I found my way into this world and boy! how times fly.

If you were born between 2nd January and 5th January, you are one hapless guy or lady. It shows lack of commitment, permanent laziness and outright unlucky. Why, pray, didn’t you kick harder so that you get out by Christmas or New Year so that you can be a part of the end year festivities? Worse if you were born on January 4th, you happen to share a birthday with Caroline Mutoko. Worst you have a bad horrorscope (sic) name. Imagine: Capricorn

There are a few guarantees here. One, a birthday party is out of question. Everyone is preoccupied with the inexorable brokenness that comes with January’s sweltering heat. Two, the party mood has gone with the Xmas and New Year Party. Three, it is a fact that whatever age you are turning, it is always that age plus one. You start counting your age from January and it is not even distantly funny.

So come tomorrow, I will add yet another year to my fast accumulating years. And I’m hell-scared. I have not made my first million. I don’t have a baby out there and it is a big deal…Make no mistake.Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is a choice. That is cliché. I want to hope that as I grow old, I will correspondingly grow in maturity.

Now there is my favourite New Edition song that you are likely to find me humming in my solitary moments. It is my anthem. It is like a prayer to me. It guides me through the murky business of Nairobi life, where if you tell a woman that you do love her and you mean it, she treats you as a joker. The song gave BoyzIImen their name…

The New Edition song is called Boys to Men, led by Johnny Gill. Boy, I’m still trying to figure out whether there is a better vocalist than Gill.That man, he can sing his way to any woman’s heart or you know where… Google up the lyrics.

In deed growing up is torturous. But the best you can is to learn from every person, moment and events. In my few years, here is the wisdom that I have accumulated and it can startus here for this year.

1. Growing old is inevitable
Before you label me a genius of stating the obvious, let me elaborate. See, soon or later age catches up with us. That tummy shows up. Beauty fades. Not even make up can compensate your age. It is far much better we learn to invest on bettering ourselves in terms of character, temperament as soon we start getting into the other side of the twenties.

I pity women who past 25, still believe that they can retain there youthful beauty. I’d rather they spent time in maturing rather than having cat fights in night clubs or spending time trying to figure out what love is when they consistently look on the one side of the coin.
2. Accepting the inevitable
Growing up is about accepting the inevitable. A man accepting he is short (either upwardly) or where it often matters. It is about a woman accepting that she is not good in looks and getting something to compensate for that. Among my boys’ circle, there is often a rumour that goes round that average or less than average women are game in bed. It is known as the compensatory factor. Ever encountered a beautiful woman who thinks her looks are sufficient to sustain some good bedroom encounter. Let us not even go there.

There certain facts in life, no matter how painful they are, we must just accept them. For we have no hand in them.. They premeditated. Pre-planned.

2. Getting to know the language of PR

It is important to learn to communicate with all the people in your life. You should learn how to talk to your parents-in-law, the watchman at the gate, your spouse, your friends, strangers, demanding family members and all that.

If at 25, you don’t know how to compliment a particularly ugly kid of your folk, then you need to learn a few things about life. Even if the poor thing(no offense), has a pear shaped head, please find something suitable to say, even if it is comparing the kid about some forgotten hero or something cute about the eyes…

Above all, it is about learn when and how to laugh to everyone around you. Even to your friend who has the driest humour.It helps. Always moderate the laughter, because we all know when the laughter is exaggerated. Even to those who crack up their own jokes and laugh at them, find a way of dealing with them. Paul, a good pal, once observed that laughing at your own joke is like masturbation…Couldn’t agree more. Really disgusting.

3. Respecting sensibilities

The first mark of maturity is understanding that we are all different. That ethnically, socially, academically, we can’t all be the same. So we must learn to relate with others in a good way. Knowing what to say, where, how, when, why always. Respecting other people’s life (style) choices and dropping the ever tempting urge of believing that we are better than the next person.

4. Knowing what you are cut out for
Avoid competitive life. The only person you can compete with is yourself. Know what your stuff is and stick to it.
Learn the power of prayer, books and friendship….

Here is to a good start buddies and to hope that we shall have quite a session. As usual, the good, the bad and the ugly shall be exposed here. Here we go 2011..


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