Case for ‘validational’ sex

‘Validational’ sex
So much for average looks, the desire to feel full and satisfy the inevitable human sexual desire. I’m always empathetic for women with average looks or less. I know what it must be like. What with men being constantly drawn to the attractive ones, overlooking the average Carol or Mary, rather painfully.

For men, you don’t have to be too hot. If anything, whatever you lack, you can substitute it with proper bedroom delivery, brains or money. Women always need money for material security. Women prefer brainy men, so that prospectively they can expect bright kids. And of course, women can do with a man who knows his way between the sheets.

But for women, the rules are so much skewed. Conventionally, men dictate terms. They initiate the dating, seduction or courtship process. They own the process. They monopolize the process. They ask names first. They ask for dates. They choose the restaurant or the places to take a woman. All a woman is supposed to do, is play along. Give cues, subtle or otherwise as to whether the man can finally ask for the sexual favour.

Outside the conventional, we have heard of tired housewives doing it with watchmen, shamba boys, when the craving gets the better of them. Occasionally, we have encountered women who make advances to us or who send obvious cues that they are into us. Ordinarily, we never mind some quick flip, if only to sate the ever rife, pelvic thirst. But mostly, we tend to dig into the ‘morality’ of the woman before we can take them to the suck.

In the long run, the woman who out rightly or subtly asks for sex from a man is always regarded as either loose, desperate or both. And once men hear of such, trust them to make a queue in that direction. After they are done, you will hear them comparing notes before relegating the woman to the class of ‘has-beens’.

But women are getting tired with the current status quo. They are going after men they think they like. In the recent past, my colleagues have confessed making out with women who have brought up themselves upon them. Some have gone ahead, to sleep with them in a no-strings-attached scenario. The women are not guilty ridden as it used to be.

A little while ago, if a lady dared sleep with a man she could not entrust her feelings with, she could be swallowed in a bout of cancerous guilty. Utterly unforgivable. But with the ‘casualization’ of sex, more and more women are getting into this business of casual sex business.

Women are fast learning to separate sex from love and are almost accepting that more often than not the two are mutually exclusive. A man who delivers in bed is least likely to be loving and spread their love around, most of their time. Men who do shoddy work are often the most loving. But a woman ain’t gonna feed on love alone or can she?

Thus we are having women knowing which side if their bread is buttered. Whenever a man hits on them, they fast decide which one first;Love or sex.

Let us turn our attention to a new concept I’m coining here:

Validational Sex. What is it?

Validational sex is a situation whereby a woman as an act of desperation gives in to any man for a sexual act. It happens when a woman wants to confirm if she too can be laid. It is a self-groveling act and occurs because of two reasons; sexual hunger or the desperation of being overlooked by men constantly.

This precisely explains such rumours of women sleeping with the least likely men. That stupid, smelling fool bedding the most beautiful woman around. Or that man with a tummy that having it with a petite woman, and all those other unlikely liaisons.

It happens morning, noon and night. It is common place. And it is fully understandable. When a woman possesses average looks, she constantly feels inadequate. This, coupled with low self esteem, doubly contribute to a woman willing to sleep with any man who dared ask her out, even if for fan.

I have no qualms if one does it to calm the burning erotic flames within. But there is power in patience. People should learn the gift of patience. The phrase, there is someone for everyone is true. But not many women are ever willing to wait. Resultantly, we are having many women sleeping around and ending up being treated like sluts when in the really sense, they are merely enjoying the simple things that make life worth.

Having sex to validate your existence ranks very lowly, especially, if you are a woman living in a very judgmental society like ours. Fellow women will label you hopeless. Men will always laugh behind your back for your availability for a quickie and other forms of demeaning sexual escapades.

Thing though with average women, they serve the best where it matters most. It is a like a compensatory factor for whatever they lack in looks.


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