The invaded male territories

The invaded male territories!
Women have finally accepted that it is now cool being a man. They drink hard liquor, are sports fanatics and are becoming big cheats in relationships
By Silas Nyanchwani
My biggest distraction throughout the just concluded World Cup was not the clairvoyant Octopus that preempted every match by predicting the key matches with an astonishing accuracy. It was not the early exit of African teams that we all cheered from our hearts. It was not the unfair and scandalous elimination of Ghana by Uruguay. And certainly, it had little to do with the purging of Brazil by the Dutch. The distraction came from two advertisements on body lotion and some family soap.
This struck me as odd. Quite obviously, they were targeting the female audience who now constitute the ever growing population of soccer fans. It was a far cry from the days when alcohol, vehicles and shaving machines were the only things that could be advertised during great sporting events such as World Cup and the Olympics. Back then, it was a man’s world and advertisers knew better where to put their money.
Lately, women have invaded two things that were traditionally male sanctuaries where we escaped to when the heat became unbearable at home; the sports world and the bar. Nowadays, women are so much at home with soccer and rugby that they are the loudest cheerers and jeerers. When I missed out on the Rugby 7s this past month, it was my female friends who called out to lament on what I had missed out. As we lurch into the English Premier League, sure as hell, I’m guaranteed female company who will be follow every mundane game with me.
Over the last couple of years, women have dramatically taken to alcohol that it is urban naiveté any more to be astonished when your missus goes for something harder in your local as grapple with your light beer. You can get drunk before beer distorts the colour of her eyes. They are so much at home with alcohol that it can be bothersome to some conservative men like this one. Their antics when they get drunk are an amusing read for another day.
In every man, there is that little boy trapped inside that we normally escape to sports to get out. When we play or cheer the televised matches, it is a welcome opportunity to shout, yell, jump on the table, hug a stranger, hurt yourself, and cry over absolutely nothing. It is the only chance to let loose your manners, talk dirty with the boys, ogle the women around without the girlfriend twisting your neck the other way.
We ran away from our mothers when we were young to play, if only to escape what we used to consider maternal tyranny. It was tough love we learnt later. When we get older and get ourselves girlfriends or even wives, we escape their ‘tyranny’ by occasionally bonding with the boys to catch up (the male version of gossiping) on the latest. Women are congenitally possessive. At the very subconscious level men know this. Ever wondered why they always want to know our whereabouts and their persistent calls that can be suffocating sometimes?
When they get inquisitive and mount undue pressure on us, we normally escape to find peace elsewhere before coming back home to meet her harmed with a million questions that we invariably don’t have answers because most of them stem for an inexplicable fear and anxiety in her mind that we neither know nor comprehend in all honesty.
When we get home, we are normally too drunk and intoxicated to answer her questions or get her insults. This way we can maintain the equilibrium in the relationship. When we go for sports, women reverted to soap operas and checking their girl friends. This breathing space in so critical. Just ask any man who is never allowed some time with the boys and you will get the drift.
Now this balance has been disturbed. Currently, the new overzealous fans of soccer and rugby are not graduated male teenagers. Rather, they are your modern, urbanite lady. In your local, it is no longer the waitress who doubled as a commercial sex worker at night who is likely to be in the vicinity. You are likely to find just as many women as men drinking their sorrows away.
Therefore, more and more men are getting trapped with their girlfriends who are willing to follow them into every drinking and sporting dungeon without complaining or killing the fun by suddenly demanding to be driven home.
Given that, then, men ought to device other ways that will help us get away from the missus even if temporarily to regain the peace we normally sought within.
While we welcome them into the world of sports, can somebody tell them that at the end of the day, we sometimes wish to get away and spend time with the boys? It is the only time we can be ourselves. Besides, being with the boys does not necessarily that we up to some mischief. Just give us some little room and let us be.

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